Oscars Wrap-up

I finally finished the damn Oscars and feel the need to blog before bed, but apparently the wires haven't quite gotten all the red carpet pics up, so I couldn't add links. Sigh. However, the blog must go on! Here's some pithy observations:

• Sandra Bullock looked every bit the Oscar winner that she (now) is. That silver dress was beautiful and was incredibly reminiscent of the dress that Halle Berry wore when she won for Monster's Ball. Her makeup was classic Old Hollywood and her hair looked perfect. Her acceptance speech was classy and subdued and yet broke some of the dramatic tension with the running joke about Meryl Streep being a great kisser. Bravo! Now get back to work on Miss Congeniality 3, because I seriously flove the first 2.
• Meryl Streep's dress was by Chris March of Project Runway fame and I adored it. Even though both me and Paul agreed that it rather looked like a sexy nightgown featured on an alien race in the OG Star Trek. Sexy space goddess indeed. It was a little risque with the deep v-front, but it was covered enough everywhere else to not read as "mutton dressed as lamb".
• Can I please be Helen Mirren when I grow up? Who can I talk to to arrange this?
  
• Or the lovely and amazing Sandy Powell (Best Costume for Young Victoria)? Her style is so scrumptiously over-the-top yet super-classy. This picture was taken when she won for Shakespeare in Love...as NO-ONE has posted a photo yet of her taken at the Oscars 2010! Very hateful, but she was wearing this amazing diaphanous dress and a sequined headpiece that was adorable next to her flame-red hair.
  
• If Adam Baldwin and Steve Martin are going to host, actually showing them onstage more than 4 times during the telecast is something to look into as I doubt they did the gig for free.
  
• Neil Patrick Harris can host every award telecast from now until the day he dies. Seriously. His intro for the Oscars was fun and he clearly enjoys doing it.
• Interpretative dance for the score nominees but heaven forbid we actually hear the Best Song nominees in full. I will agree that seeing someone pop and lock for the Hurt Locker and do the Cupid Robot for Up were highly enjoyable, but wholly unnecessary.
• Monique and Gabourey Sidibe represented for women of size amazingly, but why did Queen Latifah have to stop it from being a trifecta? The silver trim on that dress looked a mess and the one shoulder strap looked very last-minute. Too bad since the color was amazing. It's funny because in pictures I found it looks awesome, but it didn't move well at all and she looked uncomfortable.
• I would mention Oprah's dress but I like this blog and don't want it mysteriously erased from Blogger.
• I have said it before and I'll say it again: George Clooney is like a Louis bag or a Chanel Suit. Always looks good, always in style. As my dear friend Jen said, "He's our Cary Grant." Le sigh.
  
• James Cameron losing to his ex-wife? Awesome. James Cameron trying not to flip his shit on camera? Even fucking better. (For the record, the fact that The Hurt Locker was nominated for writing accolades says a great deal. I'm pleased that Avatar won their more technical awards, but as a Best Picture nominee, not as much. The right movie won!)
• Ben Stiller needs to figure out how to visualize ideas better when they're pitched to him. I feel like all the stuff he's done lately probably sounded hilarious on paper, but what an absolute dud his appearance was! I was actually embarrassed for him, especially since I know he's capable of good comedy.
• I coveted Carey Mulligan's earrings a great deal during the telecast. They were so delightfully fancy and yet sort of young-looking.
  
• It pleased me that Tina Fey showed up looking super hot as her Golden Globes dress was sort of horrible and left me with Fashion PTSD.
• Kathryn Bigelow is super hot. Seriously. So many levels of hot. Beautiful, smart, genuine...I've got a big ol' girl crush on her now.
• Molly Ringwald, hooray for you! I'm aware she's on that horrible ABC Family show (is she still?) but I haven't seen her in quite some time. Meow! Super glam suits Ms. Ringwald.
  
• Demi Moore. Stunning and hasn't aged in 15 years. Either she's got the best genes or best surgeon in the world. Outside of the fact that the color of her dress was a little too close to her skintone, she looked spectacular with legs that went on for days.
• Charlize Theron is one of the world's most beautiful people. Why was she wearing one of the world's most atrocious dresses? Odd color--misty purple-- with floral motif pasties printed across the front? Tres bizarre...
• I want to go shopping with Diane Kruger, as she's always impeccably and forwardly-dressed AND she looks like she giggled her way through the Oscars with Quentin Tarantino. AND if I play my cards right, Paul and I could double-date with her and Josh Jackson.
• Poor Cameron Diaz. Her face just looked old. She's not an unattractive woman by any stretch but she looked 10 years older than she is at the Oscars. Slap on some sunscreen, eat some fat once in a while, and don't starve yourself the week before the Oscars. You look sickly and bloated. Not cute ladyfriend, not cute.
• SJP. Even when you go crazy and do something ridiculous, I generally enjoy your style. When you wore an enormous headpiece to the SATC: The Movie premiere, I cheered for the craziness of it all. However, this weirdo frock that looked like Mrs. Roper Goes To The Oscars was not cute. Further, your makeup artist's makeup gun was set to Jersey Shore and your hair appeared to have gone through some sort of trauma OR you had a roll in the hay with Tom Ford before presenting. Hopefully it was the latter because those rumors would be wicked fun to start hearing all over the internet.
  
• Just a note to JLo, making your dresses out of bubble wrap isn't terribly flattering to your shape.
  
• Amanda Seyfried, why did you let JLo convince you to wear one of her bubble-wrap dresses?
• Miley Cyrus, please stand up straight and not talk with your hands like you're with a group of 17 year olds. Show some friggin' respect (and get off my lawn.)
• To the countless people I saw chewing gum during the telecast, SERIOUSLY? I mean, SERIOUSLY? Ugh. It's so gross to watch people chew gum like a cow chews cud. You're wearing tuxes and gowns....ew.
• I am just realizing that I've mentioned 4 men for the 20 women I've dressed-down. (Puns!) I will now list a list of men who I got a little hot under the collar for during the telecast: George Clooney, Robert Downey Jr (who wore a ridiculous pair of blue-tinted glasses apropos of nothing), George Clooney, George Clooney, Keanu Reeves, George Clooney, Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin (holler at the silver foxes!), NPH, Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper, George Clooney, and this other guy whose name I can't quite recall who was nominated for Up in the Air. Geoff something maybe?
• Sigourney Weaver is stunning still...and like 7-feet tall.
  
• Lauren Bacall's voice still makes me crazy. She is the epitome of sultry.
  
• Seeing Tim Robbins at the Oscars and knowing that Susan Sarandon likely didn't attend makes me sad.
• This year's actor/actress presentation style was great. Reminded me a lot of last year's version where former winners presented. This way gave coworkers a way to be involved with the win, which is damn cool in my book.
  
• The Parade of the Dead was done very nicely this year. I'm a HUGE fan of that song (In My Life, The Beatles) and I don't hate James Taylor that much so it was nice and respectful. ANNNNNND they did a great job actually showing the slideshow this year rather than spend all sorts of time watching Taylor instead. And weird seeing Michael Jackson in the Parade of the Dead, although I know he was involved with film a few times...
  
• Missed Kathryn Bigelow's Best Pic speech, but was able to see Cameron's face turn from placid to sad. I think that was enough for me.
• Still very sad that Tarantino's mostly Oscarless. Inglourious Basterds was a fantastic film and I'm very happy to see Christoph Waltz won his Supporting Actor statue.
• Jason Reitman, get a haircut. Or just wash it. Maybe a comb? Some gel? You're a big deal man, dress like it. We will continue to think you're cool. Promise. Your street cred is safe.

Alright, that's enough I think. The show ran a little long but I was able to hop on and blog before bed, before all these sundry thoughts rushed away for the night. :) Hope you enjoyed the show-- it was a fairly decent one this year. Links will get updated soon!